So I’m finally done with my undergraduate degree. Life after my exams has been nothing but slow. This is the first time in my 5 years I did not enrol in summer courses. Feels weird knowing that I am not going back to school next week but I am moving forward in life. Now I am looking for a job that does not require me to sign a year contract. I know I have experience working from a camp counsellor to a team lead but I am not looking for a year contract. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL!
This year as a whole has been full of anxiety attacks. First anxiety attack was deciding which graduate schools I am going to apply (finally got that list finalized over the summer --> especial thanks goes to Rotbah, Natalia, Salma, and Sean; best advice I got --> don’t limit your life and your opportunity to go to grad school because of an idiot). The next anxiety attack was submitting a petition with York U to drop some of my courses from my transcript; but it was accepted and the registers office for once was kind enough to drop two my courses. Third anxiety attack was when I saw my GRE score. Not what I was hoping for. Forth anxiety attack was asking for references from my professors and trying to meet the deadline. But all these anxiety attacks paid off when I got an email in mid-November from the University of Texas – Dallas registers office that I have been accepted to the MA Interdisciplinary Program. I did not believe it when I opened that email. But as soon saw my online student profile and confirmed that I was really accepted (with my average GPA and Okay GRE scores) – I think everyone at the second floor Scott Library knew it.
However, once I was back in January, I think my brain started to tune down. I just wanted to get over school. But I survived the last three months of school and now I am too scared to move.
So moving to Dallas, Texas will be very in interesting. I don’t know a single soul in that city. But I have moved a zillion times in my life. This is the longest I have lived in one country. This July 17th it will be 8 years. Don’t get me wrong, Toronto is my home but I really need to stretch my legs, especially from York U. In the past 5 years, I have not only studied in that school but also worked and met some amazing people. One thing is for sure, with my overfull course loads in the last two years, Multicultural Week was one thing that kept me sane. During this week, I get to be creative, be in charge, and boss everyone around.
But now I am trying to figure out my life. Do I really want to do a MA in Interdisciplinary Studies? Or should I wait to hear from MA International Political Economy? Or what if I get accepted in the MA in International Public Policy at Wilfrid Laurie? If know me, you know I would rather do my MA in Int. Public Policy than Interdisciplinary Studies. But can I live in Waterloo? I don’t think they even have a Starbucks there. I am not a small city girl. And what will I do after I finish my two years MA program? Move to west-cost like I always wanted? Stright into a PhD program? Work for some big international agency? Yes you have guessed it right --> another anxiety attack.
Moving to Dallas will be a good and big change but I need to find my focus. I think it’s time for me to grow up and start living a life with only one focus (boring). Really decide what I want to do for the rest of life. After all I will be two decades and a half years old this summer. And the scary part is two people whom I know directly are going to get married this year. Me still enjoys watching the Family channel. Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional. But I am not a trust fund baby, which makes this summer the last summer I get to be a child.
So far, summer has been great with nothing to do. But I do miss my best friend. Summer was the time, when we had regular sushi lunches at Crispy Rolls (we have tired everything on the menu), than either going off to Jackasstors or the Red Room to get drunk. And the endless supplies of hot waiters (aka sweetyboparas) did not hurt either. Always ending our nights with drunken singing of old school Bollywood song through downtown Toronto before going to Starbucks for a Grande white mocha Americano misto.
Let see what my next step in life brings me. But this is especial thanks to everyone (who know who guys are) at York U who made my last year amazing. You guys will be missed dearly.
You're welcome!! You were there to make my last year and last semester of my undergrad life memorable. Although I had a more settled life than yours, I was always anxious for change, and change is what I have been having since 2007. There has been ups and downs and through it all one thing remained constant - You. And I guess I got the chance to thank you for that. There were my panic attacks of "I can't do this anymore" or "I can't understand whats going on" to "I don't know what to do" Most ran on repeat, but rarely if ever did I recieve a complaint. The last two years with you were probably the most memroable with you although I got to see you so little. First the transition (if know what I'm talking about), then school, the off for Summer to French Program at Jonquiere, then for internship to BD, then back for last semester (+ major crisis all around) and off again back again and now off) Whew!!!! but they were possibly the best of the times - like you said going through the entire menu of crispy rolls, sweetyboparas, red room, starbucks, hangover breakfasts and movies. Those are moments you helped me create while I was going through a whirlwind of change. You gave me the lens to capture the moments by which I will remember my last year of undergrad forever. And not to mention was also my 24/7 crisis helpline!
ReplyDeleteI am almost as excited as you about moving to Dallas. Change is freaky as hell, not knowing anyone sucks worse, not having anyone there to lean on even more worse - but change is refreshing, it allows to grow as a person emotionally, it brings in new perspectives and it will bring in new friendships.
You have been the person whom I have always admired as someone who can make future plans and stick to it no matter what. Work if you have to this summer, but take time to explore to so that maybe you will find the answer to what it is that you see yourself becoming. Sometimes, it's alright to let things run their course and watch it all unfold. Perhaps you can wait and let it all unfold for you.
But long enough commentary. I wanted to say thank you and have gone off and started advising. That segment is for our date tomorrow.
I miss you.