To forgive is to move forward.

So instead of studying, I was watching a very crappy Lindsay Lohan movie late Saturday night, Georgia Rule. The movie is very lame but one of dialogs really stuck to me.

“Anybody can do anything to anyone...you can't stop what's being done to you...you can only survive it.”  - Rachel Wilcox 

That’s a very deep dialog for the very crappy movie.  

What Rachel said is true. We can’t control what others do to us. You can only control your actions. You can choose to be most pleasant person in the world to them but how they treat you is their own choice. You can either choose to take revenge on their actions or you can choose to survive it.

Mahatma Gandhi said “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” If we all choose to take revenge on who have hurt us, and we will be walking around with nothing but bitter feelings, anger, pain, and maybe even with a hurting broken heart.  A heart fill with anger have no room for love. – unknown

I know it’s easier said than done. But how we survive what is done to us? From experience, I have seen at the heat of the hurt, we say a lot of things we don’t really mean. This usually starts a chain reaction verbal abuse and we usually end up forgetting what the main problem is. And once those emotional starts to flair, we say a lot of things we don’t mean. Words are something, once said can never be taken back. And this can be very damaging if you are trying to maintain a long term relationship with that person. I think the best way to deal with things is after a cooling off period, a civil conversation. But everybody isn’t civil. Le sigh.

So what happens after that? Do we forgive and survive what is done to us?

Can we really forgive someone who hurt the very core of your soul and scared you as a person?

Another deep dialogue from Georgia Rule:  “To forgive is to move forward. Georgia rule” - Lilly

So you just try to survive what is done to you and try harder to move forward. 

And when or how do you know that you have moved forward? Is it when you can have a civil conversation with the person without any emotion flaring? When I say emotions, I mean it can be either anger or romantic.

Alright, so you have survived and moved forward. But did you really forgive the person? Like I have mentioned above how can forgive someone who have changed the very core of you who you are as a person. I think all of us have this misconception that forgiveness and forgetting goes hand in hand.  If we did not forget it means we still haven’t forgiven. And with time, we will forget, our wounds will heal, and we will forget what is done to us.

But Rose Kennedy once said “It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone”

Honestly, I don’t know what I am trying to say here. You can’t control what is done to you. What others do to you is their karma. You can just try to survive it and move forward. With time, the pain will lessen but you will never be the same again.